


Productively Stupid

by Harky21



Series: KRTKweek2k16 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Fluff, Graduate School, KRTKweek2k16, KuroTsuki Week, M/M, Prompt: Age, cause i can't not do kurotsuki fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7144268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harky21/pseuds/Harky21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stared at the computer screen, the blinking cursor taunting him.<br/><em>“I’m sorry, Tetsurou, but you need to rewrite this section again. You’re talking around your point. It’s scientific writing. It needs to be clear cut.”<em></em></em><br/>He had to rewrite an entire section of his thesis.<br/>And Kei was coming.<br/>Tomorrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Productively Stupid

He pressed the palms of his hands into his aching eyes.

How had he ever thought this would be a good idea?

Getting his doctorate in a foreign country.

So what if he’d worked himself to death during undergrad to get here? So what if he’d studied abroad for a year to make sure he had the right level of English? So what if he’d taken the ridiculous exams and gone through homesickness and missing Kei like he’d miss air for two years already? How had he ever thought he was capable of _this_?

He stared at the computer screen, the blinking cursor taunting him.

_“Tetsurou—  You need to rewrite this section again. You’re talking around your point. It’s scientific writing. It needs to be clear cut.”_

He had to rewrite an entire section of his thesis.

And Kei was coming.

Tomorrow.

He had worked endlessly on this stupid thing for the last few weeks, staying up all hours to make sure it was done before Kei got here. But apparently it was all for not. His advisor edited too fast for her own good. He still had a week before he needed to turn revisions in again, but that was taking time away from being with Kei.

He sighed and placed his head down on the desk.

Why was nothing going right?

It was like his entire semester he’d been slogging through mud, barely keeping his head above the muck. The entirety of it had been filled with bouts of homesickness, anxiety, and the type of competitive atmosphere he’d never really appreciated in the academic world. He was TA-ing entry level O-chem classes, taking his own classes, and doing lab work on top of that.

He glared at the screen again. Those things didn’t even include writing his thesis. He felt so in over his head, everything slightly off. Nothing quite right, a constant nagging at the back of his mind telling him he messed up somehow. Anything he tried, whether it be school or even just grocery shopping, was wrong. Everything he did was wrong.

It was irrational.

_You shouldn’t even be feeling like this. You’ve been here for two years already. You’re doing well and you’re thesis is basically done. It’s only a fifteen page section... That you should’ve done correctly the first time. If you were smart enough for this that is._

Tetsurou sighed. He didn’t need his thoughts to head in that direction again. He needed to get back to work. It was already 8:00pm and he was the last person in the lab.

But he couldn’t quite get himself to lift his head. He just stared across the black topped lab bench. The lights a little too bright, the unending hum of equipment buzzing a ittle too loudly. Everything was too quiet and too loud at the same time. He wanted it all to go away.

A buzz from his pocket pulled him from his stupor. He slipped the phone out to look at the screen.

It was Kei.

Tetsurou stared at his boyfriend’s picture lighting up the phone. His stomach twisted, somehow nervous that Kei would just _know_ Tetsurou was _not_ working and that he was calling to scold him.

He hit answer.

“Tetsu?” he heard from the other end of the line.

When he heard his voice his stomach unwound.

“Hey Kei,” he breathed out softly.

“Hey,” he could hear the blond’s voice brighten. “I just wanted to call and check in. Also to let you know I’m about to head to the airport.”

“Good to know,” Kuroo smiled to himself.

“What are you up to? I certainly hope you’re at home and not in the lab.”

“I’m in the lab,” Kuroo sighed.

“Still? Tetsurou, isn’t it like 11:30 or something there?” Kei chided.

“It’s only 8:00. I promise to go home before 10:00,” he replied softly.

“You better. Don’t forget I get in at 12:00pm tomorrow for you,” Kei huffed.

“I’d never forget that,” Kuroo smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right at the gate to pick you up.”

There was a small pause. A familiar one Tetsurou recognized as Kei trying to decide whether or not to say what had come to mind.

“I can’t wait to see you... I’ve missed you.”

Tetsurou felt a lump rise up in his throat, but he swallowed it back down. “I’ve missed you too, Kei... so much.” _You don't know how much_.

“I’ll get to see you in, what? 18 hours or so?”

“Just don’t take forever getting through customs,” Kuroo chuckled.

“I’ll try, but with the number of things you requested I don’t know how well that’s going to go,” Kei replied dryly.

“I only asked for like three things,” Tetsurou replied, sounding slightly offended.

“More like ten, and I still swear you can get half of them in the states if you looked hard enough. Especially in LA.”

“I swear it’s not the same, Kei.”

“And I swear Panda Pocky is the same everywhere. You’re lucky I’m such a good boyfriend,” he complained.

“The luckiest man on earth,” Tetsurou agreed immediately. How could he not? It was a true statement.

He just heard a “tsk” in response. “I need to head out. I’ll text you when I’m boarded.”

“K, hun. I’ll see you soon. Have a safe flight,” he cooed out.

“Thanks,” he sighed.

“And, Kei?” Tetsurou caught him before he hung up the phone.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He could imagine the red rising on Kei’s cheeks before he heard “I love you too,” in reply.

After the line went dead Tetsurou turned back to the blinking cursor on his computer.

Fifteen pages.

He could do it.

Then he’d have more free time when Kei came.

He took a deep breath, and began again.

* * *

 _Kei's coming, Kei's coming, Kei's coming._ Tetsurou hummed to himself, as he looked over the apartment one more time before leaving for the airport. It was immaculate. Not a single book or pile of paper out of place which was actually something close to a miracle for the second year graduate student since books and articles tended to be strewn about haphazardly.

It had been over half a year now since they planned this. Once they’d figured out a time when Kei didn't have classes and there were campus tours for all the universities in the area, the plane tickets were booked as quickly as possible.

Tetsurou was excited, but last night had made him a muddled ball of energy built of caffeine, adrenaline, and anxiety.

He had lied to Kei when he said he’d head home soon. Tetsurou was up almost the whole night. He worked without break till the rewrite was finished. _1:30am._

Then got home around 2:00am and still had to clean. He would never hear the end of it if Kei got here and the apartment _actually_ looked like a graduate student lived there. Not that Tetsurou didn’t keep it clean, it was just hard when you weren’t home most the time.

It was worth it though. This buzzing, about to fall off the edge of a cliff feeling was worth it.

He’d get to see Kei within the next two hours.

He looked around at his work one more time, eyes falling on a menu he left on the table.

_Shit._

He snatched it up.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

He pulled out his phone and began to dial the number.

“Hello, Tucci’s Italian Restaurant. How may I help you?”

“Hi, I’d like to make a reservation for two this Friday night,” he rushed out.

“Sorry sir, could you repeat that? You’d like a what?”

Tetsurou tried again. “A reservation, for two. On Friday.”

“OK, let me see,” he heard the rustling of paper. “I’m sorry, but we’re full that night.”

Tetsurou scowled. He should’ve remembered to get this done days ago. How could he be so stupid.

“Not even a late slot? At 8:00?” He tried desperately. He’d wanted Friday. Kei’d be over jet lag and they didn’t have tours or plans for Saturday at this point.

“Sorry, sir I can’t understand you. Could you enunciate more?”

Tetsurou frowned again. He thought he was speaking clearly. “On Friday. Is there a late time? I’m ok with starting dinner at 8:00,” he tried again.

More rustling came from the other side of the phone.

“We actually may have something, wait just a moment.”

Tetsurou glanced at the clock. He had time, he’d been ready too early anyway.

“Yes, sir we have an open table at 8:00,” the woman replied. _Thank god!_

“Wonderful, I’d like to take it,” he said.

“Great! Could I please have your name and phone number?”

“Yes. Tetsurou Kuroo. That’s T-E-T-S-U-R-O-U K-U-R-O-O.”

“Ok, and your number?”

“949-672-5674”

“Ok. I have you down for 8:00pm on Friday. Thank you sir. Have a nice day.” And she hung up.

Tetsurou looked at the phone. She asked him to repeat so many times. He hadn’t had problems lately with people understanding him. Was he emphasizing the wrong parts of words? Sentences?

He shook his head. Tetsurou knew his English was fine. The woman must have just had a hard time hearing. _But she said to enunciate more… No, I've been here for two years. I haven't had trouble since the first few months getting back into things._

He pushed the nagging to the back of his mind and tucked his laptop in his bag before heading out to hop in the car.

Glancing at the clock again he sighed in relief. He was still running a bit early despite the call.

He pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, hands tapping against the wheel in an unknown rhythm, eager to see Kei again.

As he made his way onto the 405, a huge horn blared at him. He hit the brakes just in time for another car to cut in front of him and take the exit.

It set his nerves on edge. _It’s like I can’t even drive correctly_.

Before he knew it he was already navigating through the winding over and under passes at LAX, making his way to the parking lot.

So close, he was so close. The feeling of excitement and happiness began to drown out all others. All he wanted was Kei in his arms, no matter how tired the blond would be from his flight.

Tetsurou found a parking spot and checked the time. It was still another thirty minutes till Kei’s flight was supposed to land, so he pulled out his laptop, opening his thesis document once again.

He sat there, rereading what he’d edited the night before.

As he read, his leg started jittering. _Was this the right word here? Can I make this sentence shorter? Should I put a table here? Was this the right citation format? Did I remember_

He slammed his computer shut, shaking his head. It was fine, he didn’t have to send it into his advisor again for another week. _But Kei will be here._ His stomach tightened. No problem. Kei will be on tours and Kuroo could stay at the union on whatever campus and work. _Yeah, yeah, that’ll work_.

_But you wanted to go on the tours with him._

He got out of the car, making his way to the international arrivals area. He checked the time again.  

Ten minutes.

He glanced up at the arrivals board. He pulled out his phone, he needed something to distract himself while he waited. He pointedly ignored the department email he noticed—he already knew the brown bag lunch talk was on Tuesday and the journal talk was on Friday. Why did they have to announce it every week?—and continued on to his kindle application.

He opened up the Japanese mystery novel he was currently reading. But he couldn’t focus on the kanji. Words kept buzzing around him. Everything was so... _loud_. Footsteps, talking, shouts. It put Kuroo on edge, so he focused on his phone.

After a bit, _In customs line,_ appeared in the banner quickly followed by, _Airport wifi sucks._

Tetsurou smiled. It was Kei, and he was so close, a mere social construct standing between them. _Curse customs._

Attention solely fixed on the ebb and flow of people coming through the gates, his foot tapped incessantly as he searched for a tall blond head bobbing above the rest.

When he finally spotted him and their eyes met, excitement bubbled and burst through him. He nearly ran to Kei, drawing him close, kissing him like he had just come back from the dead.

“Tetsurou, not in _public_ ,” Kei admonished with a small smile, pushing him away, but slipping his hand into the black haired man's, happy to see him as well.

Tetsurou pulled him back in for a bear hug, drinking in his unmasked scent. He wanted to hold tight and never let go. “How was your flight?” he asked, finally pulling himself away from the blond, giving him one more peck on the cheek.

“Long, like usual. And the guy next to me wouldn’t stop snoring, but other than that fine,” Kei drawled out, handing his suitcase off to his boyfriend who'd motioned for it.

“Glad to hear that. Are you hungry?” Tetsurou asked as he led Kei to where he parked.

“Starving. I couldn’t even tell what the meal on the plane was supposed to be so I didn’t touch it,” Kei replied, scrunching his nose.

“Any American food you’re dying to have?” Tetsurou smiled as he opened the car trunk.

“I wouldn’t mind a strawberry shake and fries, but to be honest I also wouldn’t mind just going back to your place and sleeping.” He stood by and watched as Tetsurou placed his case in the trunk of the deep red, beat up Honda Civic.

“No can do on the second one, Tsukki. You have to stay awake till at least 8pm. Otherwise you won’t get over your jetlag before your department tours, and then where would we be?” He closed the trunk gently, listening for the click, then made his way to open Kei’s door for him.

“Um, a happy and well rested Kei?” the side of his mouth quirked up along with an eyebrow. Tetsurou immediately leaned in to kiss him again, humming happily before opening the door.

“Yeah, only to wake up at 3am and want to be sleeping again by noon. Trust me, I know.” Tetsurou replied, shutting the door once Kei was in. He jogged around to the other side and slid into his seat.

He grabbed his seat belt, buckled in, and was about to start the car when he felt a hand on his cheek, turning his gaze to meet travel weary topaz eyes.

“You didn’t get to sleep when you should have last night, did you,” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. An accusation.

“I got plenty of sleep," Kuroo lied smoothly.

Kei's eyes narrowed. "You really think I don't know what you look like sleep deprived?"

"I’m fine. You’re here,” he sighed, leaning into the touch.

Kei studied him a bit longer, “What are you worried about?,” he whispered, thumbing the crease in his brow.

Tetsurou let his eyes close, sighing half in defeat and half in content at the touch. He'd forgotten how well Kei could read him in person. He was able to hide some things over Skype, but when they were together, Kuroo was an open book.

"My thesis advisor proofed my draft faster than I anticipated and there's an entire section I need to rewrite," he grumbled.

"Isn't that what's supposed to happen? You go through draft after draft until it's deemed decent enough?"

Kuroo started the car. "Yeah, but you're here. I was trying to free myself up as much as possible. I mean, I finished the rewrite last night, but now I can’t help but wonder if it’s completely wrong to."

“Tetsu, don’t worry,” Kei squeezed his hand. “We have time. You can work when I'm checking out campuses. And if you need any help with wording you know I’m happy to do it."

Kuroo nodded, letting his mind wander to the future. The reason Kei was here. They'd planned for this for so long. No more long distance and only getting to see each other over skype. He'd get to hold Kei every single night.  

Kei gave a small smile back, one more squeeze to his hand and then turned forward in his seat, "Come on. Let's go. I’m _starving_.”

"I’m going, I’m going," he smiled.

It would all be fine. He had Kei with him.

* * *

Kei slipped so perfectly back into his life. Yes, it was only one day. And yes, Kei was still jet lagged and grumpy, but when he woke up to the blond laying next to him, he felt so full. Like his chest would burst. No room for anything else.

He pulled the other male close, wrapping his sturdy frame around Kei’s lithe one, burying his nose in blond hair. They were going over to his campus that afternoon. Kei had said he’d start with UCLA, and then compare it to the other schools he was looking at.

If they went to the same university, it’d just make life easier. But Tetsurou wanted Kei to find the best fit for himself even if that meant not being in California.

Kei insisted that the programs at the nearby schools were still good. He just had to get into them.

A soft snort, came from the blond as he began to shift in Tetsurou's arms. He laughed lightly as the other’s nose burrowed into the crook of his neck.

He gently lifted his hand and ran his fingers through tousled honey locks.

“Morning, moonbeam,” he whispered out.

He got a small groan in response and kissed the blond’s head.

He loved watching Kei wake up. His defenses were down and the blond cuddled into him more, as if clinging to Tetsurou would make sleep return and stop the oncoming day.

Tetsurou gently rubbed Kei’s back, and nuzzled the top of his head, gently waking him.

“I don’t want to get up,” he grumbled huskily.

“What? Just because it’s 1:00am in Tokyo right now?” Tetsurou teased. He knew how hard it was to adjust when you came west.

“No. Because humans shouldn’t be up at this time in general,” Kei mumbled.

“It’s 9:00, you get up at 9:00 all the time.”

“Not when it’s 9:00 at 1:00am.”

Kuroo laughed and kissed Kei on the head again. “You won’t even get up for  pancakes with strawberries on top?”

“I’d maybe get up for that,” he muttered.

“Would you get up for that and a kiss?”

Kei hummed. “Yeah, I’d probably get up for that and a kiss.”

Kuroo smiled and bent down to capture his lips.

It was soft and sweet, languid and lazy. Just how Kuroo remembered them being. He rolled Kei on top of him, hands sliding down his back.

“Hey,” Kei broke off the kiss. “You promised me pancakes.”

“And we’ll get to the pancakes,” Kuroo replied kissing him again. “After morning kisses.”

“Kisses would be sweeter if they tasted like pancakes and not stale breath,” Kei hummed against Kuroo’s lips.

Kuroo let out an exaggerated sigh, “I don’t get to see my boyfriend for almost six months and he complains about the taste of our kisses. What did I do to deserve this?”

Kei leaned down, fingers twisting into Kuroo’s mess of hair, to kiss him again.

Tetsurou loved it when Kei took charge, pulling him in and under with the slightest touch. He could seduce him just by breathing if he wanted to. Kuroo found himself kissing back fervently, clinging to the blond’s waist. The softness of the earlier kisses was gone, now it was all heat.

Kei broke away.

“Who said I was complaining?” he smirked and rolled off Kuroo, getting up and walking into the kitchen.

Kuroo’s eyes got caught on how one of his sleep shirts hung down near the other’s hips. He groaned inwardly, before getting up to follow.

* * *

“Are you sure you can show me around right now?” Kei asked as Kuroo swung their hands back and forth between them.

“Of course! Your department tour isn’t till later this afternoon and who better to show you campus than your boyfriend?” Kuroo smiled.

“Ok,” Kei relented, smiling.

Tetsurou walked him all around campus. Showed him all the libraries, the best places to study, where his lab was, where the best coffee was, everything. And it was all perfect. Kuroo wanted so badly for Kei to come here, be with him like this all the time.

_Stop being selfish. This may not be the best fit for Kei._

They passed a fountain. Had the water always been that thundering? And the breeze so high pitched. He shook his head.

“Tetsu?”

“Hmm?” he looked over at the blond.

“Are you ok?” Kei asked, a crease in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he smiled softly. “Let’s get you over to the Earth, Planetary, and Space Sciences building.”

Kei followed, but Tetsurou could still feel his eyes questioning him. _Did I do something wrong?_ He squeezed Kei’s hand. Felt him squeeze back. Everything was fine.

Once he dropped him off and told him he’d be back when Kei messaged, Kuroo made his way back over to his lab. Only one other student was there. Kuroo greeted them politely and went over to his desk and pulled his laptop out. His computer began to thrum to life.

He could do this.

He could take on the world.

Kei was here.

He opened his document and got to work. Time melted away as he read, reread, wrote and rewrote.

He had it under control, he knew what he was doing.

Until he didn’t.

_What was that word again? What’s it in Japanese? Is that the correct translation? There are three different words in English for it! Is that the right idea I want to convey?_

He could feel the tension in his shoulders, the knot building in his stomach, but he ignored them. He kept going. Highlighted words he’d swing by Kei. Kei’s dad spoke English so Kei almost sounded like a native, he’d know. _Y_ _ou can't even write your own thesis._

The taps of the keys were getting louder and louder. His phone buzzed, startling him.

He looked at it. _I’m done whenever you’re ready._ Tetsurou glanced at the time. It’d already been three hours. _Be there in 10,_ he hurriedly typed back before saving his progress, shutting his laptop and throwing his things back in his bag.

He hurried across campus, focusing on pushing down the anxiety he was feeling. Kei was here. He wanted Kei to have a good time. He wanted to give Kei all the time he could.

“Tetsu!” He whipped is head up, smiling immediately when he saw the blond.

“How was it?” he asked, taking Kei by the hand.

Kei’s eyes lit up immediately. “It was incredible! We went on a department tour! The labs! They look so... shiny! And the research happening in the labs! Tetsu, it’s amazing. There’s one group who’s looking at the relationship between change in sea level and mass extinction events. Not to mention the departments seem incredibly interdisciplinary. Do you know how hard that can be to find sometimes?” Kei was beaming. It made Tetsurou beam right back at him.

“Do they have a professor covering the time period you want though?”

“They have faculty ranging all major periods and I’m still not 100% positive on exacts of what I want to specialize in. I mean, there’s a lot of branching in species during the early Jurassic which is really interesting and there are many holes to be filled in during those periods, but the late Jurassic to Early Cretaceous period is interesting too. I don’t know, but it seems like the perfect set up for not knowing,” Kei replied.

“Well, let’s get dinner and you can take some notes before going to the other campuses. Gotta be scientific about this, right?”

“Sounds good to me,” Kei smiled sweetly.

Tetsurou beamed back, leading the way back to the car. They both slid in, the radio was on, Tetsurou almost immediately turned it down. Kei glanced over at him, before looking forward again.

They stopped at Chipotle on the way home. _Dinosaur_ was on Netflix. Tetsurou wanted to watch Indiana Jones but caved when Kei made puppy eyes at him. (Kei rarely used that strategy, since it was a sure fire way to get what he wanted, so Tetsu knew this was serious).

They settled in, leaning against each other, fingers intertwined. It felt right, it felt good, but there was still the thrum of unease under his skin. Tetsurou had to turn the volume down some, everything was too loud, and he couldn’t help but shift his position every now and then. It was more than usual, and from the small glances his boyfriend was giving him, Kei knew it too.

Tetsurou didn’t want that. He didn’t want Kei to know that more than his paper was bothering him. He didn’t want Kei to know he’d been having more problems lately than he let on over Skype. He didn’t want Kei to worry.

He shifted again, focusing on the movie, forcing his brain off. He watched images flicker on and off the screen for he didn’t know how long. Maybe 40 minutes, he felt a hand on his knee and Kei paused the movie.

“Tetsurou,” Kei sighed.

_Oh god, what did I do wrong this time?_

“Hmm,” he hummed in acknowledgement, eyes not moving from the TV.

“Is something wrong?” Kei asked, worry in his voice.

Tetsurou felt a stab of guilt in his gut. This is exactly what he didn’t want.

“No," he shook his head. "I’m fine,” he replied.

“Tetsu,” Kei reached out, hands running along his shoulders, up his neck, finding a resting place on either side of his face, turning Tetsurou's eyes toward him. Trapped, Kei had him trapped. “I’ve noticed.”

Tetsurou swallowed. “Noticed what?”

"You've been turning everything down today. You only do that when you're really anxious."

"I told you. It's my thesis," Tetsurou tried to cover.

“Tetsurou, I think it's more than just your thesis. I know this semester has been hard for you. Not just from what you've told me. You've looked so tired lately when we've talked. Exhausted. I didn't say anything because I knew you'd sidestep it.”

Tetsurou tried to rip away. _Can’t even keep your boyfriend from worrying_. But Kei pulled him back up, eyes level, connected.

“Like you're trying to do now. I'm not as good getting information out of you from halfway across the world as you are from me. So, what is it? What’s eating at you? You can tell me. I’m here for that,” Kei whispered encouragingly.

Tetsurou bit his bottom lip, eyes squinting, shaking his head. “You were completing your undergraduate work. I couldn’t trouble you. It’s stupid, really. I’ve been here for two years now. I should have all this figured out. It should be smooth.”

“What should?” Kei asked softly, eyes searching for anything Tetsurou would give him.

Tetsurou swallowed the lump rising in his throat.

“School, living here,” he got out.

“What do you mean?” Kei asked, voice still soft.

“I, I just’ve been feeling so stupid. All the time. I can’t get anything right. I’ve been feeling like this all semester. With my thesis, with school, being in LA. Thinking I was capable of something as big as this,” he felt the tears threatening, shaking his head.

“I couldn’t get this section of my thesis written well enough. I feel like I don’t understand nearly as much as I should when people are around. And someone on the phone couldn’t understand me clearly. I’ve been here for two years, two years, Kei. This shouldn’t be happening at this point. I know English. I studied really hard. I still study hard. I know my material for my thesis. I could recite it in my sleep. I've apparently also been making you worry. I keep doing things wrong. Everything, it’s just wrong,” Tetsurou tried to sniff the tears back. “I just don’t know why I thought I was capable of this,” tears started trickling down his cheeks.

Kei wiped the tears from under his eyes.

“Tetsurou." The raven haired man looked down feeling silly. It was all so stupid. “Hey,” Kei said softly, gently redirecting his gaze again. “Look at me. You are not stupid. You are incredibly smart. You go to UCLA. For neuroscience! In your _second_ language.”

“And I’m failing at it,” he mumbled, eyes moving away again from Kei’s piercing gaze.

"Having to re-write one section in your next to final draft isn't failing. You do well in your classes, you’re a great TA from what you’ve told me you do with the students. You work so hard, Tetsurou. It's one of the things I love about you," Kei smiled, eyes soft, supportive.

"But it never seems like it's enough. I fall short," he felt so small.

"And you get back up and try again. Tetsurou, I cannot tell you how proud I am of you. Even in your low spots I am so proud of you. Because you went after what you wanted," Kei kissed his forehead. Tetsurou leaned forward and buried his face in the crook of Kei's neck and sobbed, clinging to him. His anchor.

Kei hugged him tightly in return, wrapping him in warmth and support. Tetsurou hadn't realized how alone and isolated he'd been feeling until this point. He tried to bury himself in Kei, he wanted to melt into him.

It took a while for him to calm down. He hadn't cried in... he didn't know how long. But Kei had sat there, holding him. When his tears had finally run dry, they sat in silence, Kuroo’s face still hidden in the blond’s neck.

"Hey, Tetsu?" Kei whispered.

"Yeah," he croaked out.

"I read an article recently about the importance of stupidity in science," he started. Tetsurou made a face. Kei must've felt it cause he laughed a little before continuing. "Not just any stupidity. Productive stupidity. The kind where you're ignorant by choice, because you're focusing on learning something big."

"Where are you going with this, Kei?" Tetsurou whispered because he certainly had no idea.

"Well, you said you felt stupid in everything lately. With school and living here. But doesn't that just make you like, the ultimate scientist? You chose to study and learn, and you chose to live somewhere you didn't grow up. You chose to step out of what you knew in order to learn more. So basically you chose to be productively stupid in almost every part of your life. So you're like the ultimate scientist," he could hear the smile in Kei's voice, and he couldn't help the quirk that appeared on his own lips.

Only Kei could do that. Take something negative Tetsurou said and then turn it into a ridiculous positive. He couldn't help but chuckle a little.

It was silent for a second after that, before he shifted to snuggle into the blond more. "I love you," fell softly from his lips.

The arms around him tightened, "I love you too."

Tetsurou closed his eyes, the constant thrum he'd been feeling was gone, and he knew everything would be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, guys, that was not supposed to be that long, like ever. I'm gonna be honest I'm actually kinda nervous posting this one, but it's been in my head for a very long time, so yeah, here it is. I hope you all still enjoy it. And for anyone who's wondering, that article Kei referenced is real. And as someone who will eventually going into the social sciences and academia I highly recommend it. Even if you're not in the field, I think it helps change how you see "stupidity" in general. http://jcs.biologists.org/content/121/11/1771.full
> 
> Hope you are all as excited for Kurotsuki week to begin as I am!! We have so many talented people in the community as well as incredible fans! Can't wait to see what everyone comes up with!


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